Sometimes I Feel Like a Total Slacker

I don’t sleep till noon, wait for other people to clean up my messes, or put off doing the laundry until I’m down to my last clean shirt. Still, when it comes to my diabetes, sometimes I can’t help but feel like a total slacker.

I feel like a slacker when trying to stay on top of my blood sugars.  Although I test often during the day, I occasionally miss a time. When I do test and see an off number, I’m left wondering how long my blood sugars have been out of proper range.  I’m certain that technology could help, but I don’t have a CGM or insulin pump. Consequently, I’m left just trying to remember to test and correct as often as I can.

I feel like a slacker when I miss the recommended timeframe for my next doctor appointment.  Sometimes I’m late hitting the lab for my A1C test.  Although I feel badly about it, and I know my doctor gets a bit frustrated with me when it happens, I have a million things other than diabetes going on in life.  Visiting the doctor is also expensive, even with insurance.  I am the only person in my household with a chronic illness, but I’m not the only family member who needs to visit the doctor.  Sometimes we’re paying off procedures for months afterward, and it’s easy to put off incurring even more medical bills.  Still, I know that regular visits are crucial to good health, and I feel guilty when the days stretch past my doctor-recommended appointment.
I feel like a slacker when I don’t exercise daily.  I have an extremely active job, in which I move furniture daily, hang artwork, and do a variety of other physical tasks.  When I get home from work, I am sore and exhausted, ready to fall on the couch and forget about exercising.  I do try to get out on my bike, take a walk, lift weights, or play sports with my husband whenever I can, but I worry that it’s never quite enough to help me live a long life with my diabetes.

I try to remind myself that even with my faults, I’m not really a slacker.  There are no perfect people.  We are all working to be the best that we can.  I want to have a healthy life with my diabetes, and I know that it’s worth some sacrifices.  Even with the best of intentions, however, I realize that my diabetes management will always have flaws.  Daily life will offer up challenges that throw me off course for a bit.  I just have to get myself back on track, as we all do.      

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