It’s not the everyday worries that “normal” people stress about. Diabetes makes you worry about it every day, all day. My husband is quick to ask “Can you change what you’re worrying about?” and when I confirm that I can’t, he reminds me that there is no point in worrying. That might be true when you are worrying that your son is going to show up for a holiday dinner sporting purple hair, but not so much when you are worrying diabetes style.
I’m a worrier, it’s what I do. My D worry list goes something like this…
Is my stubbed toe going to turn into something? Yep, I still manage to find the wood base on my ottoman with my toe on a regular basis. It makes a lovely snapping noise and hurts like the dickens as I fall on the couch and inspect it, wondering if I need to do something other than curse and wait for the throbbing to stop. Everyday injuries that most people can just walk off tend to send me into high alert as I envision the worst case scenario. I (thankfully), still have all my piggies so I think toes are more resilient than we give them credit for.
Did my insulin overheat in my purse? While at a theme park one scorching summer day I began to worry about my insulin and its effectiveness. I wondered as I rode the rollercoasters if the day would leave me on a blood sugar rollercoaster if my insulin had overheated. I learned the value of cooling packs to help keep future worries about this subject at bay.
Can I find a doctor that understands, or at least sympathizes? Maybe you’ve been burnt by a doctor’s comments in the past. I have heard some doozies from my previous medical team. Diabetes is extremely hard, is every day, and the word “control” is over used. I’d love to find a doctor that knew that diabetes control was not as easy as it sounds. You can do everything right and still find yourself with some jacked up blood sugars.
Should I spill the beans about my diabetes to a new friend, romantic relationship, or employer? Oh, this is a fun one. Telling a romantic relationship can be extremely stressful, hoping they handle it well and don’t excuse themselves to use the bathroom, exiting through the window like dates do in the movies. Telling your boss can be worrisome. When is the right time? Have you proved yourself to them yet so they know you aren’t a sissy that takes time off constantly? Will you get a blank stare as they nod making you wonder what they are really thinking? Friends are pretty easy, if they are friends at all. In fact all of these relationships should be easy, if they are worth it at all.
Will I go low in the store or during my meeting at work? Diabetes must have a wicked sense of humor because I swear that the lows happen at the worst times. There is a reason the DOC (diabetes online community), jokes about trips to Target causing low blood sugars. I have had more than one foggy moment in Target where I needed to grab glucose. As far as low blood sugars during work meetings go, I don’t have to tell you that acting drunk while presenting to a bunch of higher-ups in the company is frowned upon. I’ve learned to have a juice box on the boardroom table, just in case.
Sure, worrying is annoying but sometimes it is necessary. As long as we’re still here, we are doing something right.