Diabetes Dad: NEWSBREAK: When A Child Dies, Yes it’s Okay to Question……..Yet Again.

It seems to be, reading the posts all over social media, that a young lady, another one too young, has passed away.  From what I am reading, it seems there was a ‘kink’ in her pump tubing and insulin was being denied entry into the body.  Her blood sugar rose, she entered DKA and at 21, we have lost another precious life.

There’s much discussions occurring within our community and I just felt like I needed to drop a line for thought, perhaps a dialogue or two as well.  It’s, of course, just so sad. unfortunately in our journey, we have faced this situation too often for comfort.   We begin to ask ourselves……….well…….…all sorts of questions.  What we really want to know is, however, “how do I make sure this does not happen to us”?

I wish I could wave a wand and make that ‘pit’ in your stomach go away…….but I cannot.    Years ago, we lost a relative to our family.  Absolutely tragic circumstances.  I realized as I asked myself the same questions over and over and over and over again, that what happened, as tragic as it was, could only be avoided if we lived in a bubble.  Could only have been avoided if we and touched no one and no one touched us; and/or we spend every waking moment hovering over every breath our children take.

It was a horrible situation.  And a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘what abouts’.  We cannot live in a bubble and we cannot ask our children to either.  I have stated that there could come a time that anyone I love can be taken; we would have no control over that although we would like to think we do—–or we could.  But in truth, we do not.  I’m sure the family of that beautiful young lady will ask themselves forever…”…..if only I…….”  I cannot take that feeling away from them, and nothing anyone can say will make them lose that feeling. As my friend Michelle taught me, “….we do not accept, we learn to cope……”  And she would know, she lost her son, also way too early.

I have stated many times before, if anything happens to any of my children, diabetes related or not, I MUST BE ABLE to look myself in the mirror and ask that man in the mirror if he did all he could?  If I cannot answer yes, then I need to work harder at whatever I feel I must.  If something happens and I can answer yes, as Michelle taught me, I must settle for coping, broken heart and all.

So ask yourself if you are doing what is right for your child?  Do not necessarily think you have to change everything all around because of something that has happened to someone else.  Would we take the car keys away because the car malfunctioned for someone else causing serious harm?  Do we stop flying even though major malfunctions have cause planes to drop from the sky?

What we do is we ask ourselves, “am I doing what is right”?  It’s ALWAYS and in all ways okay to run a check list when we hear of a tragedy.   Run the checklist and if you feel okay about everything, try to move forward.  If you doubt, seek until you find the answers—-not the answers you may be told by just others but by finding out the answers until you are confident on the answers. It’s also okay to count our blessings that it did not happen to us.

Yes, it’s okay to question.  It’s also okay to say a prayer, or have a private thought, for someone who has undergone something we can only imagine; and only hope we may never know.  It’s ‘just’ diabetes, right?   The world has no idea……..like we do.  SIGH!
I am a DiabetesDad.

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