AskNadia: My Husband Wants Me to Ignore My Diabetes When on Vacation

Dear Nadia,

 I have Type 2 Diabetes. I have been trying to manage things with diet and exercise. I was doing very well until we went on vacation, and my husband ragged on me about it. He wanted me to indulge in the “good stuff” with him. I came away from three weeks of indulgence to feeling like hell. I am now trying to get back into my routine. I am hoping this is the start of a beautiful week and a journey to better health. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Gina

Dear Gina:

Kudos to you for managing your diabetes with diet and exercise before and after your vacation. Your decision to take medication for diabetes and commit to a lifestyle change is impressive. It appears that you are so good at it,  your husband knows what a great job you are doing. Cheating on vacation has him believing it will have minimal impact on your health.

Spouses can be too involved or not involved enough in their partner’s diabetes. When I was married to a type 1, I learned that if my husband needed my assistance, he would ask me for help. Early in our relationship, before we were married, he spent much time educating me about hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia, the difference, and how it affected him physically.

Teach your husband more about how badly you feel when you deviate from your healthy diet and exercise. I would also ask him questions about what it is; he believes you are missing out when you do not indulge. Does it change his experience? His feelings? Is indulging really about the food or the bonding your husband craves to feel? Does eating and drinking the same things make your husband feel closer to you? My question to you is, what experience are you accommodating when pressured to please him?

Let your spouse know that indulging is not about food for you. It is about feeling good day in and day out. When you feel good, you can do more with him. Teach him that complications result from high blood sugars. Start talking to him about diabetes basics. Let him know what your healthcare professional has recommended as a target blood sugar before and after meals. Explain how high blood sugars make you feel and, over time, how it can impact your overall health. This way, when you test your blood sugar before eating, it will have some significance to him. Once he starts learning what your blood sugar reading means, he most likely will begin adjusting his expectations of you.

Understanding the experience he wants to gain will help you find alternative ways to achieve the intimacy he is seeking without risking your health.

Most of the AskNadia emails I get come from concerned family members who feel the type 1 or type 2 person they live with is not following healthy guidelines. You are an inspiration to us all. Keep up the excellent work on your journey in maintaining good health!

You may also be interested in reading What’s so Bad About Having High Blood Sugar Levels

Disclaimer:

Nadia’s feedback on your question is in no way intended to initiate or replace your healthcare professional’s therapy or advice. Please check in with your medical team to discuss your diabetes management concerns.

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About Nadia:

Nadia is a diabetes advocate that was not only born into a family with diabetes but also married into one. At a young age, she was propelled into “caretaker mode,” and with her knowledge of the scarcity of resources, support, and understanding for people with diabetes, co-founded Diabetes Interview, now Diabetes Health magazine.

Nadia has received 19 nominations for her work as a diabetes advocate. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, and other major cable networks. Her publications, medical supply business, and website have been cited, recognized, and published in the San Francisco Chronicle, The Wall Street Journal, Ann Landers advice column, former Chrysler chairman Lee Iacocca, Entrepreneur magazine, Houston News, Phili.com, Brand Week, Drug Topics, and many other media outlets.