Hello Grandma, Hello Gramp! A Letter from Diabetes Camp

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By: Conrad Craber

Hello Grandma, Hello Gramp,
here I am at Diabetes Camp.
I am having lots of fun,
and after lunch today, I tested 91!

We've been eating healthy meals,
I wore blisters on both heels.
Guess that shows that Mom was right.
Those new sneakers I bought were way too tight!

I have not forgot my hourly check.
Meter on a lanyard ’round my neck.
You remember Jeffrey Cooper?
Dropped his brand-new One Touch mini
down the pooper!

I've got a new job this year,
I'm in charge of soccer gear.
All the balls and both the nets,
plus I got the key to both toilets!

Last night we had beans and weenies.
Some of the counselors are real meanies.
Someone passed bad gas all night,
and those nasties kept the windows shut tight!

Today we all got to go swimming,
Except for Jeffrey, he was skimming.
You remember little Billy Blake?
They're still searching for his pump, out in the lake!

They've got this new stuff, called Byetta,
For the type 2's, guess it’s pretty great-ah.
I don't understand, but guess they claim it
is somehow made from Gila monster spit!

Tomorrow we get to go hiking,
Then on Thursday, MX biking.
You remember Bobby Bowes?
Sure hope he don't pass out–
he’s been having lots of lows!

Conrad Craber lives in Fairview, Oregon. He writes that he’s a type 2, retired since 2002. “I sit at home and write a few poems each day. The pay is lousy, but the hours are good and I get to snack at my desk off and on all day–what’s wrong with that? Diet Pepsi and Enterex cans line my windowsill, and Extend Bar and Crisps bags fill my wastebasket. Life is good if one determines to live it. So there, enjoy my poem and have a good day.”

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