It's usually one of the first questions asked by new insulin pumpers:

"How do I wear this thing?"

The answers are as varied as pump users themselves and can range from the mundane to the esoteric. From pockets to gun holsters and from waistbands to a white satin bag sewn especially for a bride, you can find pumps anywhere.

The suggestions offered here are primarily for women for one simple reason: Men nearly always have pockets in their clothing or a waistband on which to clip their pump.

Bicycle Shorts: Not Just for Biking

Want to wear a slinky dress that has no place to put your pump? Not a problem if you wear bicycle shorts under the dress. Just put a large safety pin on the leg of the shorts, slide the pump under the shorts and clip it to the safety pin. The shorts themselves are almost tight enough to keep the pump from going anyplace, and the safety pin adds extraÉ well, safety.

Recently, women have also been discovering the joys of tennis panties, which include a pocket to hold tennis balls-or an insulin pump.

Here Comes the Bride

While you might wear a slinky dress for a special occasion, what do you do for that most special occasion of all-a wedding?

Brides have come up with some pretty creative ideas. Barbara A. Brad-ley, MS, BSN, RN, CDE (who sometimes writes this column) relayed a story of a bride who had a satin bag made to match her wedding gown. She slipped the pump into the bag and attached it under the bustle of her wedding gown.

Another handy place to stash a pump when you are wearing a form-fitting garment or one without pockets is in a bra. Just don't forget to slip the pump into a baby sock first so you won't sweat off the piece of plastic that covers the serial number. (Ask me how I know.) Depending on how "well-endowed" you are, the pump can go in the bra "pocket," or it can be clipped to the side of a bra and worn under the arm.

Some women clip a pump to the top of their panty hose or even just tuck it into the top of a pair of "tummy-tightening" panty hose.

The Workaday World

People commonly place their pump in a pocket or clip it to a waistband while working.

But not everyone has a "normal" job.

Bradley tells of a man who climbs poles as part of his job. His solution was to place his pump in a leather gun holster so that it wouldn't fall out or come off.

Then there's the belly dancer who devised a way to hide her pump in her costume.

"You'll be cutting holes in your clothes," my pump trainer told me when I first began pumping. And some people do that, using pinking shears to make the slit in order to minimize fraying.

Others use Fray Check, a seam sealant found at fabric stores, to coat the edges of the cut. I just pick out a few stitches in the seam of a pocket-large enough to thread the infusion set through-and take a few stitches with a needle and thread on either side. That's for an in-seam pocket. For kangaroo pockets, I have a seamstress make a buttonhole about halfway down inside the pocket.

When wearing a jumper, some people put the pump in a bag or a sock and safety-pin it to the bottom of their blouse or T-shirt, Bradley says.

Slumber Party

Fie on companies that don't put pockets on pajamas or nightshirts because they're "not necessary"! Where else are you going to put your pump, if not in your "jammie" pocket?

Well, how about a Waist It, Leg Thing or Arm Thing? Safety-pinned to your nightclothes? Tucked into the top of a sock that's been cut off and pulled up around your thigh? In the pocket of an oversized T-shirt worn inside-out? Clipped to the waistband of your pajama bottoms? Or simply toss the pump into bed and crawl in after it. After all, it's at- tached to you-it isn't going anywhere.

'Specially for Pumping

Check with your pump company to see what it supplies in the way of accessories that help you store your pump while it's being worn.

Unique Accessories (on the Web at www.uniaccs.com) and PumpWear (www.pumpwearinc.com) offer clothing and accessories that hold a pump, some in colorful designs for the younger set. These places are where you'll find Waist Its, Arm Things, Leg Things, Pump Paks, Clip-n-Gos and more. n